8 years ago I vividly remember crying and being heartbroken that “my own mother did not remember my birthday” because she did not wish me Happy Birthday.

It felt like she did not even remember the day I was born because I believed that deep down in her heart and through all her actions, that she did not love me.

I surprised myself when my mother messaged me a few days ago and I replied her with the following.

My relationship with my mom has changed so much. There was a period in my life I considered cutting ties with her. It was that bad! We couldn’t communicate and I would always get so hurt and offended by her every time we met and spoke. There were so many childhood memories where I had been hurt by her that took so many years in conversation with the Holy Spirit to heal and overcome!
She has also changed so much ever since she got born again in water and spirit as well! She is a completely different person – so loving and patient and fun to chat wih, understanding and communicative! I could just tell my mom anything now and love being with her! We have gotten rid of all the lies and unhealthy expectations of each other and are always appreciative of everything we do for each other and dont take anything for granted!

Surprised because she and I both know how “set free” I have become from this great “birthday expectation” / disappointment and depression that I had experienced for so many years!

It is a miracle that today I am completely set free from “What are they going to do for ME???” Expectations and completely filled with gratefulness and joy and peace.

My identity and self worth does not lie in how remembered I am, how celebrated I am by my family and friends, lest the world.

I feel so known, so loved, and so secure when I am in the presence of God being known and loved by Him. There is an unexplainable peace and joy when the Holy Spirit comes and fills your cup with living water that ONLY GOD can fill.

For so many years, believe me, I have tried to fill my cup with everything I thought this world could offer. Only God can fill the God Void in our beings and it’s only when I die with Christ and live throughout Christ that I truly live.

It hit me today that while the 28th of Jan was my “birth”day, it is actually not my kingdom birthday. I’ve been reborn and no longer the old me that lives, but Christ who lives in me – the hope of Glory. 🤍