Felt led to wear the Gold Hebrew Hadassah Necklace that Dad had specially made for my 21st birthday.

Back then it did not mean much and it never evoked in me much thought or feelings but suddenly today, it was like I was given a revelation of His Heart, thoughts and intentions behind the gift.

It was revealed to me how much He loved me, and how much He genuinely loved God and how perhaps, the life I now have was in part prayed into by my parents who loved the Lord so much that they wanted to give their lives to ministry to serve him but were so greatly attacked and deceived and remained in bondage their whole lives because they were not told the truth and did not get to be baptised in the Holy Spirit.

Dad’s love for me and the family was revealed to me today and I was so overwhelmed in my heart and brought to tears as the Holy Spirit showed me His Journey.

A person that is so fervent for the word and the Lord, giving his whole life to “ministry” and yet having a family so broken a heart that constantly gets taken over by pride, anger, rejection and self-righteousness.

With my current understanding on how our fight isn’t against flesh and blood and how so many things in life are more spiritual than we realise, I now look back and reflect on my childhood with a new perspective.

I grew up “hating” my dad because he was quite unbearable as a person at home. He seemed generous and loving in church and to strangers, but almost daily at home – we faced Jekyll and Hyde.

An angry, violent and verbally and sometimes physically abusive monster lived inside of him. This monster would be so easily offended, triggered and demand respect and yet… I know my father loved me.

It’s pretty surreal recalling the crazy incidents of violent outbursts my dad used to have. Things unimaginable of any father, what more of a “Pastor” or a “Reverend” whom on Sundays would preach about the fruits of the Spirit ( love joy peace kindness and patience) when in reality the fruits He was displaying were often times mostly the opposite.

For so many years even till after I had my own personal encounter with God, I questioned and wondered if my dad was even “born again” or “saved’ because the person I knew did not seem like one that was filled with the love of God.

My dad “met God” in a church that believed tongues were from the devil and that Miracles and Healings were not for today and ceased to exist.

He always took pride in the fact that we were poor and that he ate bread for lunch because he said it was suffering for Jesus.

Money was the root of all evil, he said. When I painted my nails, he said that if God wanted me to have purple nails he would have made us with purple nails.

The heartbreaking thing that I now understand is that despite Him thinking that everything else was “of the devil” and “demonic”… that very likely these were the very prideful and religious demons and spirits speaking through him.

There were so many entry points. A spirit of rejection since he was in the womb as His Natural Parents tried to abort him as a baby. When that failed, they had him but gave him away when he was born to a single lady who became his adopted mom.

When He met “God the Father”, it was in a “church” that taught him all the laws of God, who we SHOULD BE in Christ, but without the grace of God and the baptism of the Holy Spirit – without deliverance and repentance not just from what looks sinful outwardly but the biggest sin of the heart – pride and unbelief in the works and move of the Holy Spirit sent from God for today, how can we even be set free?

Without the whole gospel truth, that it is not by our own efforts but it is literally by the working and indwelling and leading of the Holy Spirit daily by God’s Grace… how can we live this life?

If we think that “Christians cannot have demons” and believe that the minute we said a sinner’s prayer or go to church that we are set free… then why are so many “Christians” in bondage?

Why was someone like my father who went to bible college, moved to Israel to study Hebrew so that He could read the bible in Greek and also Hebrew – someone who “knew” all about the bible – still so angry, violent, proud and abusive and quarrelsome? Was He…. Completely, HIM?

Or were there, other entities inside of him, monsters that would surface despite how much He wanted to “serve God” and love His family?

I now believe so.

Over the last few years, I embarked on a Mark 16:9 Life as I asked God – why does my life not look like one that believes?

“And these signs shall follow those that believe. In my name, they will preach the gospel baptising them, cast out demons, speak in new tongues.

I started sharing the new covenant good news with many and have baptised many and have seen many set free from bondages that used to hold onto them and have also seen manifestations of “entities” speaking through individuals or simply getting set free from something as they start feeling nauseous after baptism as I command any unclean spirits to leave them and start “throwing up”. Something leaves them and they are set free.

Many of whom had already been to “church” many times before, been prayed for before, or grew up in “church”. I write “church” because there are many organisations that run as churches but are sadly not sharing or believing the truths from the new covenant (testament) today.

Going to Church does not make you a Christian. Reading the Bible and knowing all about it might make you a theologian but it would not make you like Jesus. Trying to be patient, loving, forgiving and kind by our own efforts to be a “good Christian” can also never make us good enough by our own efforts.

It is only through first being born again through repentance and being washed by the blood of Jesus for the forgiveness of our sins through a covenant act of obedience through baptism – dying of ourselves, being co crucified with Jesus Christ on the cross and then being resurrected with Him when we come out of the water – can we be spiritually and legally set free from the consequences and curses of the sin that has separated us from God and His Holy Spirit.

It is only through the gift of the Holy Spirit living through us and in us and a daily allowing of him to lead us that we can have His Fruits.

We need to acknowledge our sinful ways, our pride and unforgiveness, our offense and repent so that the enemy will not have legal access to continue dwelling in our souls and bodies.

When we repent and renounce the lies of the enemy and invite God’s truth and His Holy Spirit to come – we can be set free.. by a burial of our old life full of sin and the consequences and judgement that come with it – rising up into a new life with Jesus.

Born Again, of water and spirit. (John 3:3) 🙏